Christianese

I am a Christian. I profess and confess Jesus as Lord. I believe the Apostles' Creed and the Nicene Creed.

Here is the Apostles' Creed:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:

Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.

He descended into hell.

The third day He arose again from the dead.

He ascended into heaven
and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty,
whence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting.

Amen

The Nicene Creed:

We believe in one God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.

And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds, God of God, Light of Light, Very God of Very God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father by whom all things were made; who for us men, and for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary, and was made man, and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate. He suffered and was buried, and the third day he rose again according to the Scriptures, and ascended into heaven, and sitteth on the right hand of the Father. And he shall come again with glory to judge both the quick and the dead, whose kingdom shall have no end.

And we believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and Giver of Life, who proceedeth from the Father and the Son, who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified, who spoke by the prophets. And we believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. We acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins. And we look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen

Note: catholic refers to the universal Christian church, not the Roman Catholic church.

Now that that has been established, let it be said I don't speak Christianese. You know, the language evangelicals use when they want to thought of as extremely holy and self-righteous, and don't you dare ask me any questions about what I said, because if you do, it's clear that you're almost being blasphemous. It's language that, as a Christian, I cringe when I hear it. I understand it, but I do not speak it.

Here are some examples of Christianese:
"The Lord let me know that I was done having children because I knew it was too painful to be pregnant again." (Oh, really....I have yet to have a pain free pregnancy. Does that mean that when the Bible refers to children as blessings its only in the context of pain free pregnancies?)

"My children go to public school because the Lord showed me....."(fill in the blank, because in the end it really doesn't matter). (Really? The Lord told you that it is His highest example of His kingdom here on earth when you send your children to sit under a humanist curriculum that is explicitly anti-Christian, where odds are they will either be the bully or be bullied, at a cost to the taxpayers far in excess of what you pay in taxes, upon threat of loss of your home at gunpoint, so as a good Christian Mom, after sending them off on the school bus you sit sipping your coffee (either alone or with other *good Christian Moms*, aka Moms in Touch) praying that the Lord would protect them from the hostilities that you just sent them into? Is that what he told you? Really and truly? I'm shocked...and guess what...I don't believe it )

"It's okay that my husband doesn't provide for us and we rely on the gov't for food and medical care because the wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous." I disagree. It says in 1 Tim 5:8 that if a man does not provide for his immediate family he is worse than an infidel. But, hey...I'm not going to argue with you if you will insist that 2 plus 2 =5. Help!! Sigh.....

It is so hard to argue (literally the defense of a thesis...remember arguing is not bad; fighting is) with people when they pull the Christianese card. So, more and more, I just have to walk away....